...but I'm one of those on-the-fence mommies about lots of things "baby". If you are a new mommy or a repeat mommy or an older mommy, you are probably aware of the 2 types of mommies of our generation. In one corner, you've got the aforementioned "Natural Mommy" who believes only in things like cloth-diapering, natural child-birthing, baby-wearing, co-sleeping, recycling, breastfeeding, all things "organic" for her children/family. In the other corner, you've got "those other people"...mothers of Pampers-wearing, crib-sleeping, bottle-feeding, day-caring babies. Who else feels like you may be shot if these "Natural Mommies" see one of us "other people" feeding our baby from a bottle? I do. I'm hugely obsessed with blogging (more so reading other blogs, but whatevs) because I like to learn by seeing people in action in their everyday lives and some of these Natural Mommy bloggers intimidate me...alot. Not because I'm uneducated in the ways of their lifestyle...on the contrary, I've researched everything about being a "Natural Mommy". But it's their (ok, not all of them, but just some of them) stance on "other people" that intimidates me. Anyone out there feel the same way? I like to adopt some of the lifestyles from the "Natural Mommy" world, but not all of them. Sometimes I feel like they hate us "on-the-fence" mommies more than "those other people" because we can't stick it out all the way and live 100% naturally!
I've never been an all or nothing kind of girl because I change my mind. I like to change it a lot. So I can't commit to one form of Mommyism. Sure, I like the idea of baby wearing - I wore Stella in slings for a while just to gain use of my arms again. I loved breastfeeding Stella for 7 months. But then we switched to formula. In theory, I like the idea of co-sleeping UP TO A POINT. I make all my baby food at home. Right now, I'm blessed to stay at home with Stella instead of sending her to daycare...so I'm sort of a Natural Mommy, right? WRONG.
I couldn't have a natural childbirth, or even a tradition, medicated one, for that matter, because of gestational diabetes and my petite frame...not to mention Stella's head was "off the charts" big, so says my ultrasound tech. So I already started this whole thing with a strike against me. However, I loved breastfeeding and continued nursing Stella for 7 months...that's sort of "Natural Mother"-ing, isn't it?? WRONG...American Academy of Pediatrics suggests you breastfeed for at least one year, and many of these "Natural Mommies" are breastfeeding up until their children can master their multiplication tables. So maybe Stella stayed in a co-sleeper for a few month after she was born, but big deal - she is nice and cozy in her big, beautiful crib right down the hall in her very own nursery. She likes it there. We like her there. End of story.
I hate the idea of cloth diapering. I mean, really hate it. I don't care how well you wash that diaper out, it's NOT going back on my daughter's tush. I tried to like the idea...even talked to my husband about what he thought about cloth diapering...but in the end, it's just not right for us. And when it comes down to it, how much extra energy and water will those extra loads of laundry add on to your daily/weekly regimen all in the name of trying to be more eco-friendly? What do you do when you travel and don't have access to a washing machine? Keep the dirty diaper in your bag until you return home? Throw it away? I don't think so...cloth diapers ain't cheap...it's estimated that a start up set is anywhere between $250-$700. I wouldn't be throwing ANYTHING from that diaper set away! I've read that if you do travel and use cloth diapers, it's wise to buy disposable diapers while away from home, but doesn't that defeat the purpose?
I'm ranting, I know...and I do NOT want to offend any natural mothers out there, because I do admire the commitment to your cause. Heck, I even tried to join your people. It just doesn't work for us. And, as I stated, this group of soldiering "natural mommies" that criticize us "other people" and "on -the-fencers" is just a small, small portion of the real "Natural Mommies". I'm trying not to stereotype here:) I just wish us "on the fence" mommies could choose to bottle feed our baby or throw a Pampers on her without the judgment:) I get an "A" for effort, right?
...we do it our way:)
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I'm with you, honey. I’m an on-the-fencer too. I love the idea of making my own baby food and breastfeeding for a year but these people who breastfeed until their children are 5 are insane – when they can ask for it, it’s time to let go. And the reality is cloth diapers are too expensive, natural childbirth is insane, baby-wearing only REALLY works for tiny babies (hello – MC is nearly 16 pounds now!), having an infant sleep in your bed for prolonged periods spells TROUBLE – MC slept in her bed from day 1, recycling takes time that mommies don’t have, some people can’t produce enough milk to breastfeed (like me) and organic clothing costs too much. So the tree huggers can hate me if they want!
ReplyDeleteYou totally get an A for effort – breastfeeding for 7 months is a major accomplishment in my book. That is the most selfless act of love a mother can give, and you did it longer than most!